ABC of Friendship

A Friend...

(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need tohear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

(From http://www.positive-club.com)

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What do you deserve?

This is a story from India during the colonial days. Most of the villagers of the village worked as peasants for the village landlord and got a very small share of the crops and a token money in return for the hard work they put all day in the field.

One year the village witnessed one of the severest droughts ever. The crop failed and the villagers did not get anything in return from the landlord. Most of the villagers fled to the cities.

One of the villagers was particularly in a very bad state. His wife was suffering from malaria and in the absence of food or money he was desperate.

One day he was sitting under the village tree and was thinking desperately about ways to get some money somehow so that he can take his wife and his children to the town, where he knew that somehow he would get some work.

He then saw his cow wandering nearby munching the dried up patches of grass and bushes.

He suddenly had a thought to sell his cow. "Surely someone would like to buy her", he thought.

The next day, early morning he started for the market. There, he stood under a tree and explained his plight to anyone who came and requested them to buy his cow. Nobody seemed to be the least interested.

The day wore by. The sun relentlessly shown on the barren landscape.

With sweat drenched dirty clothes and in the poor state of health he was in, he was looking a picture of the misery.

As evening was approaching, he was losing all hope he had started with.

Then a merchant passed him. He looked at the peasant and with a sudden drive of compassion decided to help him sell the cow.

He asked a few questions and then, in a loud voice full of enthusiasm, he announced to the passers by, "Ladies and gentlemen, never let go an opportunity like this. This cow here, gives 2 bucketfuls of milk everyday, morning and evening. Do not be mistaken by her health. It is just because she has recently given birth to a young calf.

This animal is of such an exceptional breed that last year she had won a prize during the agricultural exhibition of the neighboring village. My friend here, has come to an urgent situation and is willing to part with her for a price that seems to me ridiculous for such a prize animal. Who amongst you realize that an opportunity like this does not come everyday?"

Meanwhile, a small crowd gathered around them all willing to buy the animal. They all wanted to know the price. The merchant asked the peasant, "Well my friend, what is the price you expect? We have several buyers here".

The peasant stood up and with head held high, declared with pride and arrogance, "This animal is mine. She is too good to be sold. I shall keep her."

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This story has several morals. The first that comes to my mind is that we do not appreciate sufficiently what we have. Health, children, girl friend or boy friend etc, we take them all for granted without rejoicing each day for our luck. Sometimes it is necessary to have the look of others in order to become conscious of the value of what we have. We do not take the pain to explain the advantages of our proposal and often our remuneration is less because we do not make this effort towards the proposal. If you have others morals, let me know your conclusions, Christian. This reminds me of an architect just passed out from a famous institute, with exceptional knowledge of computers, who applied for a post. The owner was ready to hire him but did not know what salary to offer. So the owner offered him the salary generally given to fresh architects with little site experience and almost no knowledge of computer applications in architecture. He also offered, "You work for a week and once I have seen your work, I shall pay you what you deserve." The architect replied "At this price, your offer does not interest me!!!"

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"Depression and self-pity seldom attracts anybody. Be enthusiastic and the whole world will look up to you. You can win only if you love what you have."
-Amit Kumar
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The 20 dollars's bill

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked:

"Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up. He said:

"I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.

He then asked:

"Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?"

And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. To those who love you, you are priceless.

The worth of our lives come not in what we do or who we know but by who we are!

The feelings' island

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge and all of the others, including Love…

One day, it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left. Love was the only one who stayed.

Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a great boat.

Love said:

"Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered:

"No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel:

"Vanity, please help me!"'

"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by, so Love asked for help:

"Sadness, let me go with you."

"Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her! Suddenly, there was a voice:

"Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way.

Love realizing how much he owed the elder asked Knowledge, another elder:

"Who helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered.

"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered:

"Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Problems with transmission...

Maybe we have to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lives for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Please send this message to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life in one way or another, to those who make you smile when you really need it, to those that make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, to those who you want to let them know that you appreciate their friendship.

And if you don't, don't worry, nothing bad will happen to you, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message.

Desiderata

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantement, it is as perrenial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

"Desiderata" was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945).

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The Elephant Who Lost An Eye

An elephant came to the edge of a stream of clear rushing water. Being thirsty, the elephant leaned over, dropped its trunk into the cool water and... plunk!

"What? What happened?" the elephant cried. "I can't see! My eye... it fell in the water! Oh nooooooh," the elephant wailed in a panic, "I lost my eye!"

And, in fact, the elephant's right eye had popped out of its socket and fallen into the stream. The elephant searched frantically for the eye, groping with its trunk along the bottom of the stream. The more he groped, the cloudier the water became. That made him panic even more, and he started churning up great piles of sand, until he couldn't see anything.

Then the elephant heard the sound of laughing. Furious, he looked around to see who it was, and saw a little green frog sitting on a log, laughing and laughing.

"You think this is funny?" the elephant shouted. "I lose an eye and that makes you laugh?"

"What's funny is to see how upset you are. Calm down and everything will be fine," the frog replied.

The elephant felt a little ashamed and took the frog's advice. He stopped moving his trunk around, and soon the water became clearer as the sand sank to the bottom. And there in the stream lay his eye. He reached for it with his trunk and popped it back into its socket. And then he thanked the frog.

(c)www.positive-club, 2005

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This simple parable contains great wisdom. There's nothing funny about losing an eye... the sudden panic, thrashing around in murky water, desperation... that's exactly what happens to us when we lose control and panic. Our haste makes us blind.

We become temporarily incapable of seeing the world around us objectively and rationally. But there is an antidote to panic: wait. Wait until the situation becomes clear and the black clouds disperse.

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"Haste is the devil's work; God works slowly."
- Persian Proverb
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"BTW, did you notice how many legs the elephant has in the picture?"

The Ocean And The Fjords

Tom was a lieutenant, assistant to the captain of the frigate "Impudence." He had trouble with the hierarchical nature of command, and his natural impatience sometimes caused him to question the captain's orders.

One day, as the Impudence cruised through the frigid waters surrounding Norway, Tom went too far. He contradicted his superior in front of the entire crew.

The captain did not get angry. Instead he slowly approached the lieutenant, took him by the shoulder and walked him aside. By that time Tom already regretted his insolent behaviour.

"Look at all these fjords, Tom," the captain said. "See how many there are, and how impetuously they flow."

Tom didn't know what the captain was trying to say, but he obeyed.

"Now look the other way and see how vast the ocean is, as if it were drinking up all the light of the sun. See how its movements seem to swallow everything. Do you think the fjords are greater in majesty than the ocean?"

"No Sir, I don't."

"Really? But there are so many fjords. And they flow so much faster than the gentle swell of the sea."

"But still, Sir, the ocean is stronger and more majestic than a fjord."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear you say, Tom," said the captain. "If rivers and seas are greater than streams and brooks, it is because they are always lower. If you want to become a captain one day, you first have to learn to obey, to listen to what I say and to learn from me. One day you may surpass me, but that day has not yet come."

(c)2005 www.positive-club.com

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This story contains a profound truth: If you want to learn, you have to know how to hold back, observe and forget yourself. Every living creature grows by assimilating what comes from outside itself.

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"The sage who wants to lead his people acts as a servant to his people."
-Lao Tzu
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According to Wikipedia:
Geologically, a fjord or fiord is a long, narrow inlet with steep sides, created in a valley carved by glacial activity.

Instinct Is A Prison

The hunted fears the predator, and the predator fears hunger and death.

One day a young child got lost in the fields. He was very far from the village he lived in, when suddenly he met a hungry tiger.

"If you eat me now, Tiger," the child said, "you will still have to hunt tomorrow."

"Yes, but if I eat you now I will live another day!" the Tiger replied.

"I can teach you how to live for many more days," said the child.

The Tiger retracted his claws, sat down and listened to the what child had to say.

"Look around you. See how much grass there is, and how many trees bursting with fruit. Stop eating meat and you will never die of hunger."

"But I am a meat eater!" the Tiger replied. "I have claws and big teeth. What shall I do with them?"

"Use them to defend those you love," said the child.

"But I am alone. I have no family and no friends."

"If you spare me, I will be your friend."

The Tiger thought about it, then said, "All right, I will taste the grass and the fruit of the trees to please you."

He spared the child and learned the joys of sharing a meal with someone else. And from that time on he was never hungry.

(c)2005 www.positive-club.com

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Our instinct can be a cruel prison, causing us to act without thinking. We shout, we get angry and perturbed, we run away when what we should be doing is sitting down and thinking about the consequences of our impulsive actions.

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"Instinct is a prison from which the most ferocious are waiting to be freed."
- M. de Cournouardt
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Shiosuy’s Indigestion

Because the other monks disturbed his concentration, Shiosuy left the monastery to seek the peace he needed to meditate.

He sat down under a birch tree on the banks of a river and started to meditate. But soon the 'flick-flock' of the fish catching flies on the surface of the water bothered him.

He tried harder to concentrate, looking inside himself for the tranquility necessary for fruitful mediation. But he could not succeed, because the birds that lived in the birch tree began singing.

Furious, Shiosuy jumped up, caught all the fish in the river, and then caught all the birds in the birch tree. He cooked them all and ate them.

Unfortunately, Shiosuy developed indigestion because of his feast, which prevented him from meditating for the next three days.

(c)2005 www.club-positif.com

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Have you ever noticed that your anger is almost never caused by objects or by the people around you, but by something in your own mind? Running away or transferring your anger to an object or to someone else will not help. The problem is in your mind, as is the calm you seek.

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"If you have to live in tumult, keep your soul calm and retracted. It is a sanctuary where you can always find happiness when you need it." -Alexandra David-Neel
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The Fire of Adversity

Gold is the most precious metal in the world because it is also one of the rarest. But you can't find pure gold simply by bending over and picking up a little shining nugget, hidden away like an Easter egg in the grass.

Gold is there, it exists, the earth produces it without effort, but it's up to man to dig it out and reveal its beauty.

How? Through the test of fire. To get rid of gold's natural impurities, they are burned away. The calcified material that remains is purged of its imperfections.

The same applies to diamonds. Did you know that it takes 250 tons of minerals to obtain a 1 carat diamond! And here again, once removed from the earth, every diamond has to be polished and cut...

So although nature does contain its treasures, it is up to man to work with the raw elements and from them fashion beauty.

(c)2005 www.club-positif.com

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Did you ever think that you were like raw gold or an uncut diamond? Nature may have spoiled you and created raw beauty in your person, but she also created tests that will purify you and form your true identity. Nothing can forge your character or affirm your identity as well as adversity.

It's up to you to find the degree of heat necessary to melt the impurities that hide your beauty. No one makes an investment without hoping to gain something back in return. It's up to you to do what is necessary to protect the investment that nature has made in you!

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"If you cannot yet see the beauty inside you, do what a sculpture does to make a statue beautiful: remove what is not necessary, scratch and polish until the beautiful lines of the stone are revealed." -Plotin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sacred Tears

She was in the greatest distress. Her son, her darling son, had just been killed by an enemy's sword. She knelt at the feet of the sage, crying, hoping to find comfort.

The sage listened to her crying for hours. Then he listened as she spoke of her son when he was alive. And then he listened as she spoke of the emptiness of her life after his death.

Finally the sage gently spoke. "Woman, I don't have the power to dry your tears, but I can teach you how to make them sacred."

(c)2005, www.positive-club.com

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No one can avoid suffering. But should we? No, because often the road of suffering is sacred, necessary to heal the hurts of the world. Healing causes suffering, and yet it is healing that causes wounds to close. We must learn to apply reason as a balm to our unhappiness. Doing so will make it bearable.

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"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the sage calls a butterfly." -Richard Bach
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The Diamond And The Dewdrop

A beautiful diamond that a princess dropped one day lay lost in a meadow. Just above it shone a drop of dew, hanging from a shoot of grass.

The sun made them both shine, and the modest dewdrop admired the noble stone. A large beetle who was passing by recognized in the diamond someone of high origin.

"Sir, I give you homage," the beetle said.

"Thank you," the diamond responded haughtily.

Turning its head, the beetle saw the drop of dew. "One of your relatives I presume?" the beetle said, nodding toward the diamond.

The diamond burst out laughing. "How can you place me on the same level as this vulgar being? Its beauty is only imitation. It shines but it doesn't last."

The beetle was flabbergasted, and the drop of dew felt completely humiliated. Then a bird flew down and pecked at the diamond.

"Ah no," the bird said, disappointed, "I thought you were a drop of water, but you are only a diamond. My beak is dry, I feel like I'm going to die of thirst."

"Oh well, what's one bird more or less," the diamond laughed again.

But at the same time the dewdrop resolved to help the bird. "Can I be of use to you?" it said.

The bird raised its head. "Oh precious friend, you have saved my life!"

"Come then," said the dewdrop. And the bird drank it up and flew away, revived.

"Here is a lesson I won't soon forget," thought the beetle, continuing on its way. "Simple merit is worth more than rank or wealth that has no modesty or devotion. There can be no real beauty in that."

(c)2005, www.positive-club.com

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"Merit is worth more than anything." -Montesquieu
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Ugliness And Beauty

A pig contemplated his image in the water of a pond. He found he looked so ugly that he started to cry, and his tears soon obscured his image. Then he heard a voice from above:

"No creature is more beautiful than you are, pig," it said.

"That's not true!" cried the pig. "I am even uglier than a toad!"

"But there's nothing more beautiful than a toad," the voice replied.

"You see! You're contradicting yourself! A toad and I can't both be the most beautiful of creatures at the same time."

"All my creatures are most beautiful to my eyes, and all at the same time," the voice said.

It was then that the pig understood he was talking to God. He looked again at his reflection in the water, and this time his heart felt light and there was a smile on his face.

(c)2005, www.positive-club.com

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Ugliness and beauty are not consistent qualities: even among people not everyone agrees what constitutes beauty and what doesn't. Both ugliness and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.

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"Even if we travel the world in search of beauty, we must first have it in ourselves before we can find it." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
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